Anxiety & Sugary Coffee Thoughts

Hello Blog World. It's been a while. Like... a year.

 I've been doing the usual college routines: Get up, eat some food, crawl to class, eat more food, come home, play with my cat (Yes, I got a cat and his name is Billy and I'm obsessed with him), go to bed. Now that my junior year of college is all done, I have a long summer ahead of me. And you know what that means? ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION WOOOO. It seems to always come out of its shell right when my routine changes and I don't have school to occupy my time. The best. Right when I want to be relaxing and spending time doing nothing, my aloneness sparks thoughts of "Wow, I'm so lonely" or "Man, let's evaluate everything I've done in my life" or "Geeze, I have so many more hours in the day, what am I gonna do." They just spiral around and around all the time now cause nothing else is occupying my brain. So that's real nice.

As I've told many of my closest friends, going to therapy has been one of the greatest decisions I have ever made in my entire life. Everything to this point in my life has gradually been making sense because I've spent the time learning about myself. I'm super emotionally aware and understand so many deeper parts of myself because I overanalyze everything... But it's all so great. Except for the times my anxiety hits a weird peak and I start to feel like I'm starting aaaall over again. Cause that's exactly what anxiety likes to do to me: Control my emotions and bodily systems to make me feel off balance. ANXIETY ALWAYS HAS IT OUT FOR ME, I TELL YA.

It has always been a process at this time. Summer comes, so does the anxiety.

So yeah, that's what's been going on with me. Prepare for some more rants in the future because I'll probably have them. I had a better one in my head earlier but I'm sitting in Starbucks right now drinking super sugary coffee and watching Netflix and my brain has suddenly decided to shut down. Just another day in my life.