The Vent Sesh; Featuring: When Two Shoes Are Better Than None

Yeah, yeah. Patience, patience. Life is just one big waiting game, and you don't get to peek through the looking-glass to preview what the future holds. There are no time machines or fast forward buttons, as much as people can hope.
"If you had the ability to view one moment in your future, would you want to look?"
"If there were a movie trailer featuring the rest of your life, would you watch it?"

Many people want to say, 'Yes... well, but no.' Because believe me, I'd love to see if my life turns out great and whether I'm happy. But isn't part of the joy of life that you get to be surprised? I've never been the one to adore surprises, but I was the good sibling that didn't peek at her Christmas gifts. Or shake them for that matter (not that that really ever gave me a clue what I was getting). "Goody Two-Shoes" is the name, being a respectable kid is the game. And that name doesn't just associate me with my holiday hopes and dreams, but basically my whole life.

Now I'm not trying to be snobbish or come off like I know everything, or even like I'm at such a high position in this world, but I do have a point to this. As suspected, I gained the "Catholic School Girl" characteristics so fast that I was practically belting out "Go Tell It On The Mountain" to my public high school student environment. It took me forever just to find where I fit into the annoyingly expensive purse-carriers, walking B.O. robots, genius Asian break-dancers, and gossiping know-it-all-ers. I mean, lets be real here. I don't fit into any of those groups even now.

But lo and behold, the heavens opened and I was able to cluster with a much more sensible crowd of people. Minimal swearing, minimal drinking, minimal party-goers, minimal losers. And to be perfectly blunt, they were the best damn group of friends in school. Little to no drama is the key to friendship. That and laughter paired with ice cream. Cause ice cream always wins.

Aaaanyways. Goody Two-Shoes. I never fully understood the meaning of that nickname until college. Now that I've started college, I can't say I've been called that yet, but I now actually feel like one. Before, in high school life, I could wear the Goody Two-Shoes badge proudly and strut around like I had a shield to block the haters (admittedly though, freshman year I was more ashamed than proud at the time). Being a COLLEGE freshman now means life decisions and life goals and life hitting you in the face more than previously. Being a Goody Two-Shoes isn't so easy now with the amount of pressures I face.

As a former member of Students Together Are Responsible (STAR) in high school, I took the pledge to stay away from drugs and alcohol and anything related that could potentially ruin my career as a student. And at that time, it was a piece of cake. I was only awkwardly offered a cigarette on my way through the druggie lot, fast-walking to the library. But that doesn't really count. I always felt like it would count more if people close to me where the ones pressuring me. And obviously, as mentioned before, my group of friends was no where near that sort of stuff. Taught in the STAR seminars, I had to preach to fourth-graders about the disgusting effects and how to be firm with saying "NO" when negative pressuring happened.

Alas, college is a new land of possibilities and options. And don't worry, I know what you're thinking. 'Oh my gosh. She totally does drugs now and she let the pressures get to her and she didn't listen to her own advice and now she's an alcoholic and can't tear herself away from the partying lifestyle and now she's like dead to the world.' No. No, no, no, and no. That is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that college puts on more pressure and not just grades and career-wise.

Honestly, it practically sickens me how much smoking, drinking, partying, and having sex happens so close to me, since high school was only filled with stories about it. I never actually saw it. But now I'm in it firsthand. I can see how careless and immature young adults can be, and I still don't like it. I've been pressured to drink now, I've been pressured to party, and I've been pressured to do things I never want to do. Is this seriously what all college students are like? Are they all doing this to "live life to the fullest" and "have fun in college" because that's really what it's all about?

Cause then screw it. I actually came here for a future. I can be in control. I don't know that drinking until I can't remember things happening sounds like a fun way to live life. I want to actually be awake for it and know I have a promising place ahead of me. So call me what you want. A Party-Pooper, a Shallow Sally, a Debbie Downer, a Deprived Child, a Goody Two-Shoes. It's my future, idiots. I can wait as long as I want, I can paint a picture of my future all I want, and I can make decisions that change my life all I want. But what I can't do is let the stupidity of society allow me to be something I really don't want to be.

I know patience is worth it. Know how I know that? Because I'm right here. I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I was patient and college came. I was patient and I got a job. I was patient and I found confidence. I was patient and time stood just where it needed to be. And lucky for me, being a Goody Two-Shoes is how I like to be. Goody, sober, confident gal with two shoes. (Which is obviously better than one. Or none.)

So suck it. I like my shoes.