Rant of the Day: Don't Be a User, Be Cooler (That doesn't even sort of rhyme...)

People who use other people are dumb.

Like, hey, let's be friends. Wait, no, actually just be my friend so I can have you in my life for support cause I need as much of that in my life as possible. WELL GUESS WHAT. BEING USED IS STUPID AND KIND OF HURTFUL.

I mean honestly, don't people ever stop to think, "Hey. This friend is being really supportive of me. I should thank them for their generosity and the time they've given up to help me out" or even, "Wow. This friend rocks all my socks. I should make sure I'm AS supportive to them as they are to me."

But then this all comes back to the idea that *You shouldn't expect things in return because that's the nice thing to do.* Well WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS. Shouldn't friendship be kind of an exception to that rule? Like I have plenty of people in my life that are totally and fully there for me, but should I just expect that from ALL my friends I have? Or is it okay to have those friends that you can tell anything to, they tell you everything, and your input matters more than the fact that they have absolutely no care in the world for you and how your life is going?

Because approaching someone like, "Hey, how are you?" sounds like genuine interest, right? And like they actually want to start a conversation with you about how you are doing. But then it turns into me reciprocating the question and then a follow-up of just THEIR LIFE. "These are my problems, this is what's happening with my life, this is how I'm feeling, this is how my family is treating me, this is how bored and lonely I am, blah, blah, blah..."

Well, GUESS WHAT. I have a life too, friend. I have problems, I have issues, I have boredom and loneliness streaks, but I don't need to seek out people to help me feel better about myself all the darn time. I'm not trying to be 100% on the offensive wagon here, but there's a time and place for things and I don't know how telling more people about your problems is actually going to solve them. Cause "You're the only one I've ever told" and "I trust you enough to keep this information" are just lies at the end of the day and I can't afford to be around people who treat me like that. Especially when they're asking *me* for advice on stuff.

Like I'm really sorry about your life, but you're giving me more worry to deal with and my advice is about as worthless as a popsicle in the wintertime. But honestly, why is it so easy for me to keep playing this game? Why do I expect something different in our friendship than just me telling you "It's okay" and "You'll get through it" and "You are better than that" all the time? When is it time for me to put my foot down and say, "Hey, yeah, I want something out of this friendship too. I don't do one-sided for long until I give you the boot. I don't work like that. I expect more from the people I care about"?

So pretending you're okay with one-sided friendships is so dang easy, but it's even easier to admit that you're better than something like that. There's a fine line between wanting to trust someone with your thoughts and feelings, and being a friend to that person that's listening to you.

So there. Lesson of the day: Be a good friend. Good friends rock. Good friends don't cause problems because they care on a different level. Peace out.